the way of life

As my last assignment for this semester (besides studying for a Greek test on Tuesday), I was asked to compose a rule of life for my Christian Spiritual Formation class.

A rule of life, if you're not familiar with it, is a guiding set of principles for your life before God. Rules can be written by individuals, but they are also often written for communities of faith. While a rule of life usually does contain challenges as far as who you want to be and what you want to do, it is far from a set of New Year's resolutions. Rather it is a covenant with God in which you pledge yourself to a certain way of life.

Since it's a highly personal kind of thing, the rule and its contents can take any number of forms. As I began contemplating my own rule of life, what came to mind as a focusing concept was a quote from the Didache, which we just covered in Greek recently: "There are two ways, one of life and one of death, but a great difference between the two ways." A rule of life, it seemed to me, should be something which describes and calls me to the way of life. And what better way to focus my life than on what Jesus calls the greatest commands: love God and love your neighbor as yourself. Everything else, Jesus says, hangs on these things.

So, as I began to write this rule of life, I chose to center it on those precepts, looking at a couple of different aspects of life (relationships, stewardship, ministry, etc.) through the lense of what it meant to love God, love my neighbor, and love myself. Though this was written basically in one sitting and could use some time for reflection before it is finalized (if it ever is), I wanted to share with you what I came up with as my rule of life. It's much more theoretical than some other people's are, but that seems to fit me, as I tend more towards focusing on habits of being rather than habits of doing. That may in some ways be a weakness of my rule, but I can also see it as a strength, enabling this rule to serve me for years and years to come because it lays solid foundations that can be further defined as specific situations arise. Anyway, enough talk already. The formatting's off a little (no lines should continue on to another line without being indented), but here it is. I'd love to hear your thoughts!

To this way of life I am consecrated:

to love the Lord my God with all my heart, soul, mind, and strength.

to love my neighbor.

to love myself.

For there is no commandment greater than these.

First established in flourishing relationship

with my creator, redeemer, and sustainer,

with my fellow sojourners in faith

and those who have chosen a different path,

with the unique image of God I carry within,

I give my fully alive self to the community of Father, Son, and Spirit, to the community of faith,

and to those in the world who are without such wholeness.

Centered in attitudes of joyous expectation and love-filled self-emptying,

I magnify my Lord, humbly submit, and hope unceasingly in divine promise.

I reverence the other as an irreplaceable likeness of our multifaceted God.

I dedicate my all to the service of the kingdom and the praise of God’s glorious grace.

Exceedingly blessed, my life is an incarnation of appreciation for all gifts bestowed upon me—

joyously received from my generous God,

graciously extended to others as theirs,

earnestly cultivated as they are entrusted.

Time, money, talent… each provision an offering back to the one who first imparted it.

Though the materialist myth proclaims unlimited resources, I live instead in moderation,

abstaining from crimes of excess so others may forgo crimes of need.

Ardently I nurture God-given favors—empathy, wisdom, intellect, health—

and employ these endowments of heart, soul, mind, and strength.

For justice and mercy I extend myself,

as one who has received unending mercy from the God of justice.

as one who sees the world crying out

for justice in its fallenness

and mercy in its brokenness.

as one called to and graced with the ministry of this inextricable pair—

two sides of the same coin, two expressions of the same love.

To character and virtue I devote myself,

growing always in thought and in deed towards purity of heart before my holy God,

living from this stance of integrity as the presence of God in the world,

salt and light to flavorlessness and darkness,

seeking always the fruit of the Spirit and the audacious balance

of a God-centered life in a perilously self-centered world.

This is the true way of life. This I choose. This I will be.

portfolio preparation

Just in case anybody's even remotely interested in why I haven't been blogging lately... Well, I have. Just not here. As part of my degree program here at ACU, I'm required to put together a portfolio blog that demonstrates my development and competence in certain expected outcomes. The portfolio is reviewed at the end of every year to determine my candidacy for the next year. So my first portfolio review is coming up on the 23rd, and everything was required to be posted by yesterday, the 9th. It's pretty much done, and, honestly, I'm pretty happy about how it's all come together. If you're interested in checking it out, here's your link: to the praise of God's glorious grace. Happy reading!

just a thought...

Instead of fields, then, buy souls that are in trouble, according to your ability. Look after widows and orphans and do not neglect them. Spend your riches and all your establishments you have received from God on this kind of field and houses. It was for this that the Master bestowed wealth on you, to perform this ministry for Him.

(The Shepherd of Hermas, First Parable, 8) - quoted in Joseph A. Grassi, Informing the Future: Social Justice in the New Testament.

overwhelmed?

Well, I've just made out my list of things to do for the next couple of days. Is it a bit overwhelming to think of an estimated 56 hours worth of homework, including over 600 pages of reading, to wade through in the coming week? On top of 9 hours of class, 8 hours of GA work, mentoring group, church, meals, and hopefully some sleep in there somewhere? If anybody out there feels inclined to pray or encourage as the week progresses, all would be welcome!

creative weapon of love

My recent review of “The Violence of Desperate Men” and “Beyond Vietnam,” two examples of Martin Luther King, Jr.'s amazing insight and dedication. If you'd like, you can click the links above to read (or even hear, in the latter case) the texts. It's absolutely worth the time to catch a glimpse into the life and passion of this amazing man.

In “The Violence of Desperate Men,” Martin Luther King, Jr., tells the story of the Montgomery Bus Boycott of 1955-56, an important event in the African-American Civil Rights Movement, which was beginning to take shape at the time. Faced with discriminatory treatment in the public transportation system, the Negro residents of Montgomery, Alabama, confronted the political and social powers of their community and took a stand against the injustices perpetrated against them by boycotting the transit system. These dedicated men and women relied on one another not only for means of transportation but also for reassurance of the importance of their cause. Opponents of the boycott and the Civil Rights Movement attempted to intimidate and divide the Negro community; they spread rumors about leaders of the group and issued false reports of a settlement regarding the city’s transit laws. They arrested and imprisoned Dr. King for a minor speeding violation, and someone went so far as to bomb the Kings’ home. Even in the midst of such disheartening circumstances, however, the members of this fledgling movement withstood the temptation to resign or retaliate. King, despite his own doubts and feelings of inadequacy, sensed a calling from God to continue in this fight, and so he pressed on, leading those around him in a campaign which sought justice and righteousness by promoting the values of peace and Christian love.

Over ten years later, with America deeply embroiled in the Vietnam War, Dr. King continued to speak out for these values, for although the scope of the situation differed, the issues at the heart of the matter were quite similar to the Civil Rights Movement with which King’s name is nearly synonymous. Addressing his fellow Americans and his government, King begins his “Beyond Vietnam” speech with the statement that “a time comes when silence is betrayal.” This time, he emphasizes, has come regarding Vietnam, and his conscience compels him to speak out. Prominent among his reasons for opposing the war are its detrimental effects on American society, his general abhorrence of violence, belief in a spirit of freedom and integrity for America, and his commission as a leader and a Christian to work for the brotherhood of humanity and the salvation of all into the love of God. King gives a brief history of the struggle in Vietnam, speaking from the perspectives of various groups which have remained voiceless. He strongly indicts the powers which have destroyed the lives of the Vietnamese people. He gives immediate and definite steps which should be taken by the American government to resolve and withdraw from the conflict, and he suggests ways for the audience to demonstrate its commitment to peace. He concludes with an extended oration on revolution, quoting John F. Kennedy: “Those who make peaceful revolution impossible will make violent revolution inevitable.” Calling on his fellow Americans to support a positive revolution of values and to fight against injustice, King presents his audience with the choice they must make: nonviolent coexistence or violent coannihilation.

The most notable premise of these works of Dr. King’s is that resistance to injustice is a Christian duty which must be undertaken in a Christian manner. Even before the influence of Gandhi was felt and the terminology of “nonviolent resistance” was used, the philosophy which enlivened and directed King and many of his fellow protestors in the Civil Rights Movement was that of Christian love. King continually emphasizes that both his support for civil rights and his censure of the Vietnam War are based upon his Christian convictions. A belief in the equality and brotherhood of all humans as God’s creatures and a commitment to promote love, as both a means and an end, are the driving forces behind what King does and says. He continually entreats others to follow these philosophies as well, advocating—in a very Christlike way—nonviolence even in the face of hardship and the embrace of those who might be considered enemies. He calls on his listeners to “protest with the creative weapon of love.”

An important secondary theme of these words and deeds of King’s is the acknowledgement that our actions in the present have an immense influence on the future and must therefore be carefully chosen and employed. One the one hand, if not chosen wisely, they may set into motion a series of events which proves detrimental or even disastrous. The mess in which America found itself in Vietnam is an excellent illustration of this premise. Knowing this, King worked intently during the bus boycott to avoid an escalation into violence, enabling the movement to successfully avoid calamity. On the other hand, if chosen prudently, our words and actions may favorably change the face of society forever. King reminds his audience that they are living in revolutionary times and that there is an urgency to act in a positive way before it is too late and the opportunity is lost; indecision and uncertainty must be conquered if the world is to move forward. Even small actions can have a momentous impact, as is illustrated by one astute elderly woman who struggled to take each symbolic step to her destination during the Montgomery Bus Boycott: “I’m not walking for myself. I’m walking for my children and my grandchildren.”

MLK Day March Reflections

I'm going to go ahead and share here a blog entry I wrote for my Contexts of Ministry class earlier this week. The assignment was to attend Abilene's local Martin Luther King, Jr. Day march and to write a reflection on my experience of the event, where people gathered to commemorate the man who has done so much in the fight for justice and equality in our world by walking in solidarity across a bridge bearing his name. To read the reflections of my classmates (and professor) visit our class blog here.

(Photo by Nellie Doneva of the Abilene Reporter News.)

As I reflect on my own experience at the MLK Day March, and as I read about the experiences of my classmates, I struggle to put into words what exactly it is that I saw and felt and thought during the event. I think the main reason I struggle to verbalize it all is that my expectations were not met in the ways I had anticipated they might be. I, too, had never participated in any events to commemorate Martin Luther King, Jr.’s life and ministry. This was new to me. Even though that was the case, however, I still came into the event with expectations—not so much expectations about what would happen, but rather expectations about how I would react to it. In light of the ministry of Dr. King, which I wholeheartedly appreciate and support, how would I act in this situation? How would I be affected? Who would I be?

There were encouraging and inspiring things about the march, to be sure, and I don’t want to forget those or lay them aside too easily. So that is where I begin. People gathered for a purpose, an important purpose. They took time out of their day to make a statement about their beliefs, their hopes, and their goals. The crowd which gathered showed some diversity. Those very important beliefs and dreams are shared by people not only of various skin colors, but also of various ages, economic situations, genders, and educational levels, among other things. The name of God was spoken reverently and in connection with a cause which (I at least believe) God supports and champions. All very good things which deserve more attention that I am going to give them here, but my focus is elsewhere.

Perhaps I allow myself to be too much of a cynic. Perhaps, for that very reason, I should take the time to focus on those kinds of positive aspects above rather lament the fact that the fullness of meaning which could have lay behind the events of the afternoon was conspicuously absent, at least in my own heart. In many ways, I identify most fully with Josh’s and Keith’s descriptions of the march, especially with the sense of purposelessness and even loss which Keith experienced. And I know much of that is of my own doing. My heart was not completely invested. I had an amazing opportunity to be a part of something meaningful, and instead of embracing that opportunity, I mostly squandered it by staying within my own comfort zone of known acquaintances and predictable and (dare I say?) hollow rhetoric and actions.

“Hollow.” Now that that particular word comes to mind, it is a fitting descriptor for experience. “Meaningless” is far too dire a take on the afternoon, for I know that there was meaning there to be found for those who earnestly sought it. “Hollow,” however, seems in many ways appropriate to my own participation. I gathered, but I gathered without purpose. I prayed, but my prayer does not always touch my life. I marched, but I marched without focus and without meaning. I was present, but I was absent. I was hollow.

As I reflect on the march and its purpose, I can’t help but think about the power(lessness) of the march as a symbol. To some, both participants and observers, this event was surely a potent symbol of the good that has been done as well as the long road that is left to traverse in issues of justice and equality. At the same time, I wonder just how much of an effect this statement had on the individuals, the community, the larger culture, and the world as a whole. Was the symbol itself hollow in some ways? It’s wonderful, yes, but was anyone paying attention? Did it really mean anything? Did it change anything?

I wonder, also, how would my experience have been different if my history and my perspective were different? Doubtless, it would be. I am the majority, the person of power, the elite in many ways. True, within my religious culture I have experienced discrimination as a woman, but for the most part, I know only what it is to be privileged. I’m an educated white upper middle class American. That definitely places me among the elite in the world, places me among those who have had little experience with suffering and oppression. And despite my burning internal commitment to the causes of justice and righteousness, sadly, my outward commitment often remains untested or falls short, leaving me with merely theoretical protestations of the abominations I claim to fight against. Surely this is one decisive reason this event was hollow for me?

To finally confront the cynic in me, I have to remind myself that while this event may have regrettably been bereft of much significance for me in the particular way it played out, there is yet another, more redemptive, aspect of the term “hollow.” Something which is hollow is prepared to be filled. So the questions with which I end this reflection are similar to how I began, only looking further toward the future: How will I act? How will I change? Who will I be? I pray that “hollow” is nowhere in the description.

next semester

Well, the spaghetti and meatballs was amazing, if I do say so myself.

And as far as the class schedule, I met with Chris this morning to get that figured out. Looks like next semester's going to be another fun one! I'll be doing second-semester Greek with Dr. Cukrowski again on Tuesday afternoons. Wednesday mornings will be Chris's Foundations of Missiology class, and then Thursday mornings will be Contextual Education with Stephen Johnson. And I'll also be doing a weekend course called Justice in the Biblical Tradition that they're brining in Robert Foster to teach. That'll be one weekend in February and one in March. So I'll have a regular 9-hour semester, plus 3 extra hours for the weekend course.

The only drawback to the schedule is that I have to be at class at 8 in the morning on both Wednesday and Thursday (ugghhh!), but that's a good thing too, in some ways. Means I'll actually have to get up and will be able to get some things done those days. And I can have some nice long weekends for trips home again. I could leave on Thursday at noon and not come back until Monday afternoon or evening! Hooray!

So that's what's going on in my life at the moment... Now I've got to go (quickly!) to make it to Greek on time, then there's lots and lots of reading in store for me this week! 'Til later!

catching up

So for those of you who might still be anxiously awaiting to hear how my first day of school went (two and a half weeks ago...), sorry 'bout that. I know you've been on the edge of your seats, checking at least every hour to see if I've updated you yet, right?
It's amazing how quickly time passes here, when there's always something to do, whether that's reading for class, meeting new friends and getting to know them, or enjoy my few moments of downtime when I can get them. So, though blogging has been relatively high on my priorities list, I just hadn't made it there yet. Til now.

I'm sure you'll pick up on this in what follows, but just to summarize: I'm loving it!

I've got three wonderful roommates -- Deanna, Olivia, and Kaylynn. I'm having a great time getting to know the three of those girls, and they've been so much fun to hang out with. We'll cook dinner together every once in a while and watch an episode or two of various TV shows that we're all fans of. They're amazing, and I definitely thank God for brining us together!

Here are a couple of pictures for you of my side of the room I'm sharing with Kaylynn.

We're in a cute little house just a block or so off campus (down the street to the west of University Church of Christ, for any of you who might be familiar with Abilene). It's a great location, not just because it's so close to campus, but also because we've got some of the guys from the GST (Graduate School of Theology) living just down at the other end of the street, and they're a lot of fun to hang out with. Just last night, in fact, they hosted their annual GST cookout, and there were probably around 100 people there. Definitely a good time!

So as far as churches, well, I thought it would take me a while to find a place that I felt comfortable, but that actually happened the first Sunday in town. I'll probably check out a few other places still, but as I do, I'm planning to attend HOPE Church of Christ, which is a smaller, more informal congregation than I've been accustomed to, and that's exactly along the lines of what I was looking for. They meet on Sunday nights instead of Sunday mornings for worship, so that'll give me a chance to visit some other places on Sunday mornings as well. Anyway, my roommate Deanna goes there and introduced me to it, and I immediately felt like a part of their family. Not only that, but I was able to truly worship from the heart for probably the first time in years, or at least what seems like years. Right now the church is in the process of relocating, from a warehouse that they've been in for the past few years, to a storefront location which they're renovating themselves. I've gone to help out with the finishing touches (painting, outlet covers, etc.) a couple of times, and it's amazing what they've done to transform that place. We'll be moving in around the beginning of October, and we're all excited!

And classes... the main reason I'm here in the first place. I can't really describe to you how happy I am to be here and how much I am enjoy my work!! You may think I'm crazy for having fun doing Greek homework and reading about systematic theology, and that's fine. Maybe I am. But I'm okay with that because I'd rather be crazy and happy than sane and miserable, I suppose. :)

Foundations of Theology of Ministry is way too long of a name for a class, but it's a great class, nonetheless. It's a new introductory class that's just being taught for the first time this semester, with Jeff Childers at the helm. So at the moment, we're reading things about how to think theologically, and we're doing exercise to familiarize ourselves with different aspects of GST life (the library, study habits, talking some about spiritual disciplines). It's not a heavy workload, and it's been a good class to help us first year students get to know one another a bit better. And Jeff's great. He's got such a wonderfully dry sense of humor that I cherish. He's an amazingly smart guy, but he's also got such a heart for ministering to his students and helping us in our journey of spiritual formation. That's something that can be said about nearly everyone here at ACU (if not everyone), and it makes me so thankful to be here.

I'm also taking beginning Greek with Ken Cukrowski, which has been really good so far. I've taken a year and a half of Greek before, but it was five years ago that I finished it up, so I decided to start at the very beginning (Sound of Music, anyone??) again and get a good review, since I'd forgotten so much. So at the moment, it's a relatively easy class for me, though I know there will come a point in the not-too-distant future at which I'll have to actually start studying. It's great to get back into a language again. Something I've missed. And Ken's also a great teacher who makes what can be a very difficult and frustrating experience for many into one that's still challenging but enjoyable and not overwhelming.

And my favorite class... Systematic Theology I with Fred Aquino. Now I'm not quite sure yet if I'm enjoying this class because I may have some potential for theology or in spite of the fact that I don't have any potential for it, and I just don't realize it yet. It's one of those classes where I think I'm understanding what I'm reading and how the discussion goes, but it could be that I'm just so completely lost that I don't even realize how lost I am. Make sense at all? The class is definitely a challenging one on many levels. To start off with, there's plenty of reading to do. Thankfully, this last week was the heaviest as far as reading (with a 300 page book for the week), and it'll slow down a tiny bit on that in the future. But it's also challenging in that when we're finished with our marathon three-hour-long class on Monday afternoons, I'm not sure I can think or talk straight because my brain's been challenged to wrap itself around so many various aspects of an idea or an argument. And that's one reason why I'm loving it! And I definitely enjoyed the reading for last Monday's class. That 300 page book, "Canonical Theism," was amazing. Not yet sure exactly where I fall on everything it was discussing, but it had some very powerful things to say to Christendom today. And I have a lot of respect for Fred. He's a man who has been gifted with an amazing intellect which he pushes to its furthest reaches in order to serve God and the church. He's misunderstood by many, but what he pursues and stands for is truth, even when it flies in the face of our comfortable traditions and misunderstandings. I think I can learn a lot from him.

Well, there's more to be said, but that'll have to wait for another time. I've got to go finish getting ready and then head to grad chapel. It's a weekly Wednesday occurrence, often followed by lunch at one place or another, and I've already come to treasure that time in worship and fellowship with my fellow students and my instructors. And today I'll be reading a poem and leading a prayer. So, off to dry my hair I go! Later!

first day of school

It's been a couple of years since I've had one of these, but today's the day. And for those of you who may still be wondering, I chose Abilene Christian University over Boston University. Sorry to leave you in suspense for months... So today I've got Foundations of Theology of Ministry with Jeff Childers, and also Intro to Systematic Theology with Fred Aquino. Say a prayer for me and this new adventure of mine, and I'll let you know later how it all goes!