Mission is Love

Really, does time go by that quickly? Is January nearly over already? It's been two months since I've posted anything on this blog, and yet it only seems like two days...

So I've been doing some thinking. Thinking about a lot of things lately (what's changed?), but we won't go into all that. One thing I have been contemplating, though, is the web address that this blog occupies. www.missionsminded.blogspot.com Now, I happen to like that address, and I don't plan to change it anytime soon. Just been doing some thinking about it. I suppose the thoughts were spurred by a blog post by my friend Kristi Sweeney.

Kristi's post caused me to consider more the unfortunate ability we as Christians have of being able to substitute religion and religious activities for a real relationship with God. I know that many of us are prone to doing this; I know that I myself am. Why is it that we cheat ourselves? When we have offered to us the most unbelievably rich relationship with our Creator and Redeemer and Lover, why do we refuse it for a cheap imitation religious life based on only obligation and guilt? God longs to be in relationship with us! He created us in his own image, with hearts and minds and souls, so that we could commune with him, not so that we could wrench ourselves from his loving arms and put distance between ourselves and him, saying, "I know you just want to be near me God, but no thank you; I'd prefer self-flagellation for my guilt and subservience to this set of ideals which, if I keep it perfectly and unquestioningly, will, I believe, redeem me in your sight or at the very least make me a good person." But time after time we do just that, pushing away the possibility of real intimacy and meaning in our relationship with God. What was meant to be a "sacred romance" (thank you Brent Curtis and John Eldridge) is abandoned for an admittedly easier but much less fulfilling attempt at a partnership, which will in the end get us nowhere.

So what in the world does all that have to do with the location of my blog, you ask? This girl is crazy; why is she rambling about something that makes no sense? Well, it may not make much of any sense to any of you, but I suppose that's because you're not me. You haven't seen what I've seen when it comes to God working in me these past few years. Sometimes I honestly haven't even understood it, and I have definitely questioned God about it all many a time. Anyway, back to the subject at hand... When I began this blog close to four years ago, I settled on "missionsminded" as the web address. Appropriate, I thought, given my interest in mission work. I'd been on a number of spring break and summer mission trips with the RFCs and was even considering dedicating a chunk of my life to long-term foreign mission work. I'll tell you right now that I wouldn't change any of that. I'm thankful to have had the experiences I did on those mission trips, I am still very interested in and dedicated to foreign missions, and I'm glad that I did settle on that name for my blog. The thing is, my concept of missions had been shaped a good deal by what I was talking about in that paragraph above -- the tendency I and many of us have to substitute religion for God. Now I'm not saying I wasn't genuine in my desire to serve God. I'm not saying I didn't wholeheartedly mean the things I've posted here on this blog. And I'm not saying that I was wrong in doing the things I did or even in doing them for the reasons that I did them. What I am saying is that God has changed me. He's helped me grow; he's brought me to a place of greater, though still incomplete, understanding. I can see now that my thoughts on the mission of God needed some tweaking.

Besides having the distinct possibility of becoming an idol or a way of self-respect and redemption for me, based on what I could accomplish instead of what God could do in relationship with me, my concept of God's work in this world was too limited. It needed to be expanded and yet at the same time simplified. There's a verse in Scripture that perfectly describes God's mission in this world. It's one that I'm sure most all of you could quote endlessly without trying, perhaps even in your sleep. It's one of those verses that you hear so much that you almost forget what it means. You are desensitized to the magnitude of its words: "For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life." Good old John 3:16. Whenever I thought of mission, what came to mind, and likely what I was mostly referring to in "missionsminded," was the experience of traveling to an unfamiliar place and working in a foreign culture to improve the lives of the people I would encounter, bringing them whatever it was that they needed. That's not a bad description of missions, not even a bad description of what it is Jesus did for us. And maybe it's the part of me that so desperately craves and even needs adventures and the opportunity to make a difference that influenced me into thinking along those lines. But when such a powerful word is pigeonholed into such a limited meaning and not allowed to express the fullness of what it was meant to express, we are missing out on so much!

Another look at John 3:16. One bit at a time. God loved the world. He loved it so much that he willingly gave up the one who was most precious to him, willingly separated himself from the one to whom his relationship was otherwise inseparable. By doing this, he opened up the possibility for those of us who believe in him to not perish. Think about that! Everything that we know perishes! All we see around us is fading and will someday soon be gone. But not us. Not if we believe in Jesus. And not only that, not only will we not perish, but we will have life everlasting, life to the full as mentioned elsewhere in Scripture. All by believing in him. And all because God loved. That is the mission of God. LOVE. Love so strong that God is willing to give up his most treasured bond with his son in order to even have the possibility of relationship with us. Love which encompasses life and conquers death. Love which gives all of itself just because it can.

It's not that my definition of missions was wrong. Just not complete. It's like how all squares are rectangles but not all rectangles are squares. Building houses for people who need them, feeding the hungry, providing opportunities for people to better their place in the world, teaching about Jesus and his ministry, baptizing people into Christ and seeing God forgive their sins -- these are mission. But mission is not these things. It encompasses but also transcends these things. Mission is God coming to us because we couldn't and wouldn't come to him. Mission is partaking in the purpose of God in this world. Mission is loving others even especially when they don't deserve it. Mission is not a frenzy of religious-looking activity, even religious-looking activity sprung from the purest of intentions and a good heart. Mission is resting in the heart of God, becoming one with its purposes and plans. Mission is throwing oneself wholeheartedly into relationship with God, leaning on him, learning from him, and trusting in him. Mission is recognition of God's own mission in this world -- to reconcile his people to himself and to be reunited with them in spirit. Mission is love.

decision made

My last day at the bank should be December 19th. Not an easy decision to make or an easy decision to tell my boss about, but the one that needed to be made, I believe. Haven't told my co-workers yet. I'll do that Monday morning before they send out the email saying that "Laura Beall has decided to pursue other opportunities outside of the Bank of Fayetteville." Other opportunities being holidays with my family. And hopefully a job that is not quite as frustrating. So if you've got any ideas about a job, I'd appreciate those now. :) Thanks for your thoughts and support!

dilemma (noun): a situation requiring a choice between equally undesirable alternatives

Hope you all are doing well so far this week. I've got a prayer request I'd like to send your way...

As you all know, I'm not a huge fan of my job at the bank. It's an all right job, just not really the best for me. And I'd kind of thought about finding something else to do anyway, just because I get bored and frustrated with my job. But I do work with good people and don't necessarily just want to up and leave them. That being said...

I was told Friday that I could have either the day after Thanksgiving or the day after Christmas off, but not both and not any more time around the holidays. Understandable, coming from bank management. Should have expected it. But Joshua and Sarah are going to be here from the Czech Republic for the holidays. And my family will be celebrating in Memphis and southwest Kansas, 6 and 9 1/2 hours away from Fayetteville. And I want to be with them, not here on my own. I'd saved up plenty of vacation time to be able to spend it with them, and now it looks like I won't be able to use it.

This is important to me. And if I actually liked my job and really wanted to keep it, I'd find some way to deal with it. But given the fact that I'm not a huge fan of it anyway, I'm now contemplating quitting my job to spend the holidays with family and finding a new job at the first of the year. Don't know if that's a wise decision or not, but it's what I'm thinking about. So I'd appreciate your prayers that I do make a good decision for myself and my family, that if I do decide to quit that things will work out okay with the bank and also with finding a new job for the first half of next year before starting grad school. (I'd thought about going straight into school in January, and while that's tempting in many ways, I'm not sure I'm quite ready for it yet. Not quite ready to leave Fayetteville, my family and friends, and my wonderful roommate Libby and her dog Emmer.)

So there's the dilemma. Prayer and advice appreciated. :)

a tip...

I know this isn't the kind of post you all have been oh-so-eagerly awaiting, but too bad. I'll get there eventually. This one might make a bigger difference than any other possible post to some of you, though. Those of you who have been around me in the past couple months might (I hope!) have noticed that I've lost some weight. Twenty pounds, actually. Now, I've still got high hopes of losing another twenty or so, but I will say that I am just a little impressed with myself. :)

How have I accomplished this feat, you ask? SparkPeople. Anyone ever heard of SparkPeople? I hadn't until last April. And no, it's not a miracle program or diet. It's just the basics of good common-sense nutrition and exercise. But there's encouragement. And resources. And accountability - accountability to yourself, most importantly. So if you or anyone you know is looking to lose some weight and get in better shape, check out www.sparkpeople.com. Absolutely free, completely safe, tons of help, and a great way to accomplish your goals! I'm creatively named laura.beall, and you can add me as a buddy if you like. Like I said, no magic tricks here, just a healthy, dare I say almost fun, way to shed some of those extra pounds. Good luck, and God bless!

back from the dead?

Two whole posts in the past year. Not quite the "excessive musings" I thought I might have when I started this blog. Now, don't get me wrong. There has been plenty of musing going on in my life in the past year. Far too much of it at times, actually, and those two blog posts cannot come anywhere close to expressing anything but a minute portion of it. So it's not that there was nothing to say, it's just that most of my reflections were not fit for public consumption. A few who are close to me might have been interested in reading them, but I'm honestly not sure that I could have formulated much of it into words or that it would have been appropriate to post it even if I could have. I might take a bit of time over the next few weeks to share a tiny bit of that with you ("you" being my two readers), and then I really would like to get into the habit of posting semi-regularly, for my own benefit if no one else's. We'll see...

a man after God's own heart

It's been a while... Four months. Four months have flown by. I haven't had a lot to say. God's been good, though I must admit that at times I doubted if that was really the case. He always proves me wrong. :) I'm not going to go there right now. Maybe later. I do want to share some of my thoughts with you, though, on another subject... What does a woman mean when she says she's looking for a guy who is a spiritual leader? The question was posed to me recently by a guy friend who was looking for some insight from a female perspective, and while I am far from claiming that my answer is the answer every girl would give, it's the answer I would give. Here's what I wrote back to him:


A man who is a spiritual leader is, first of all, a man who is seeking and serving God with all of his heart and to the best of his ability long before the woman ever comes into the picture. He's not just doing it to get someone else's attention or because of someone else's influence on his life; he's doing it because it is fundamentally who he is. He's someone who loves God above all else and is pursuing God relentlessly, which will be obvious in his choice of activities, the way he treats people, how he takes care of himself (physically, emotionally, spiritually), and (in my opinion) how he dreams big dreams and allows God to lead him into them and fulfill them.

He will spend time developing his own relationship with God, and I'm not talking a pray-at-dinner-and-before-bedtime kind of relationship or a relationship where he only plays around at being a Christian when it's comfortable or useful for him. I'm talking a real relationship, in which he constantly seeks God for his company, searches to understand God's character more fully, embraces both the comfort and conflict that come with a deepening relationship, and makes a commitment for the long haul, no matter what. He will be honest, real, and genuine, whatever the situation may be, but he will always attempt to allow God to remain the director of his ways, even when it seems like there may be no reason to trust God. He will readily put himself and his own reputation on the line to fulfill the calling God has given him, not shrinking back from challenges and trials he meets but rising to the occasion because of the strength and ability God has given him. He will, in all things, remain humble and recognize that it is always God who is the one giving that strength and ability, as well as God doing the redeeming from sin and from a hopeless way of life and death.

He will love others with a friendly, kind, giving, and compassionate love, helping draw them into relationship with himself and his God. He will lead by acts of service, whether organized and public or more everyday and intimate. He will challenge other Christians to live their lives devoted to Christ and pursuing passionately the God who created them, loved them, lived for them, died for them, and called them into relationship with Himself.

He will challenge and encourage his wife (or girlfriend) to be this same kind of person and spiritual leader, loving her for her multi-faceted beauty as the created image of the Creator, loving her despite her imperfections and sin, loving her through her struggles (and by that I do mean loving her so intensely and genuinely that you bring her through her struggles, helping her conquer them, especially the struggles with her own self-image, which seems to be nearly universal among women), loving her for the person she has been, loving her for the person she is, loving her for the person she can be and helping encourage her as God forms her into that person.

He will join with his wife and his family of believers in the adventure God has set before him to change the world for the better by bringing news of Light and Life to those who do not have it. He will openly embrace whatever it is God sends his way, knowing that God's plans are meant to prosper him and not harm him, to give him hope and a future (Jer. 29:11), and he will delve into those plans wholeheartedly and with abandon, giving everything he has to the One who gave all for him.


I want to be this person too. And I want him to want me to be and push me to be this person. And while we'll both fall short, together we will be stronger than we could have been apart. Together we will see and know more of God than we could have alone. Together we will love and serve the One who has done nothing but love and serve us.

"You don't throw away a whole life just 'cause it's banged up a little." I just finished watching Seabiscuit. An amazing story of despair, of brokenness, of defeat. More than that, however, a story of hope, of faith, and of victory. The whole movie strikes a chord with my soul because I too have been a person of despair, brokenness and defeat. But I long to be the triumphant overcomer who will run with abandon the race set before me, casting off everything that hinders and entangles and fixing my eyes only on Jesus so that I do not grow weary or lose heart. Yes, my life has been banged up a little. There have been times when it seemed I would not recover from my brokenness. On my own, I will not. Perhaps I am not supposed to. For, after all, I am only a jar of clay. It is my weakness that is to display God's strength. And God is faithful. Even in the midst of tribulation, He has walked by my side, leading me and comforting me with His presence. And though I my never be the same as I was, I suppose that's probably not God's plan for me after all. Whatever the case, I am not going to give up on life or give in to defeat just because I have been banged up a little. You never know what God will do, and you never know what victories may come.

I've heard the sentiment so many times. I know they mean well, and I know that in a way, they're right. But what frustrates me and, yes, even scares me is what lies beneath it. It all comes down to neediness and our insatiable desire as human beings to avoid it. I hear the words once again. It is time for the Lord's Supper, time to focus our thoughts on the intense passion of the One who gave all He had for us. I hear the words: "We take this bread and this wine, not because we are hungry, but because we have been commanded to do so in order to remember Jesus and His sacrifice." Yes! And NO! How ridiculous to think that a crumb of nearly flavorless cracker and a sip of wine could satisfy! How ridiculous to contemplate coming to this remembrance "supper" in need of sustenance! And yet how perilous not to! For this is no ordinary bread we eat -- this is the Bread of Life. And it is no common juice we drink -- it is the Blood of Christ, who is the True Vine. How dare we come to this Feast of Life with such mistaken assumptions?! Not hungry?! Physically, perhaps. And I know this is what is meant. But I look at those around me, I listen to the voice of the one praying over this communion we are about to take part in, I even listen to my own heart, and I see that, truly, we are not hungry in the more important spiritual sense either. Oh, we take part in the ritual, and we congratulate ourselves on a job well done and lives well lived. Perhaps we do consider the sacrifice of Jesus and thank God for it. But this is nothing. Because three minutes later, we move on with our religious lives, forgetting what we have just been called to remember. Because we are not hungry. We are not hungry. When we ought to be ravenous, craving the Bread of Life and the cleansing Blood, when our souls ought to be crying out for the only Food that truly satisfies, the Manna of Heaven, sent from above to save us from spiritual starvation and certain death, "No," we politely say, "we are not hungry." Again, I understand what is meant. Physically, we are not partaking in the Lord's Supper in order to satisfy our bodies' needs. But we are doing it, or rather, ought to be doing it, to satisfy our souls' needs. For there is no other food that can compare, nothing of any spiritual nutritional value. Nothing but Jesus.

Why? My heart demands to know! How have we become thus? How have we fallen into this trap of spiritual complacency? Why are we not able, or perhaps not willing to be hungry, truly hungry for the Life that Christ is and gives? Why do we give His sacrifice only a few minutes' thought, even in the midst of our time of worship, of which it should be the central focus, and move on quickly, as though we don't want to dwell on it too long?

There are those who get it. They understand that without Jesus, they are nothing. Absolutely nothing. But with Jesus, things are different. Life is different. They are different. Because with Jesus everything matters. Because of Him, they have not only been forgiven of sin and freed from darkness, they have been empowered to live lives of light and righteousness, lives of truth and goodness. And living as victorious conquerors in a world which once held them captive, they rejoice over the One who has given them life. They take part in the feast of His Body and Blood not as a dispensable ritual, but as an absolute necessity for survival. For they crave the sustenance it provides, the sustenance He provides. They cannot live without it. They know it. And you can see it in their eyes, hear it in their voices, read it in their lives. They live with passion for the One who lived and died with passion for them. They are hungry.

do not fear

It's been a while. And a lot has happened. I'm not even going to attempt to go into it all, because, well, besides taking forever, it would just be too difficult to describe. So we'll just say that life has gone on for a few months, not necessarily as planned, at least as planned by me, that is. These past few months have been some of the most emotionally and spiritually diversified of my life, with highs and lows beyond words. At times it has been a struggle, one that I was absolutely sure I would not survive. But then there were the times where God's presence could be seen, shining through the seemingly impenetrable clouds that had gathered. I am thankful that my Lord and Father is faithful, even when, and especially when, I am not. He and the people He has put in my life have carried me through the last couple of months, and for that I am exceedingly grateful.

When you pass through the fire, you will not be burned. And the flames, they will not all consume you. Do not fear, for I have redeemed you. I have called you by name. You are mine! When you pass through the waters, I will be with you. And the waves, they will not overtake you. Do not fear, for I have redeemed you. I have called you by name. You are mine! For I am the Lord, your God. For I am the Lord, your God. The Holy One of Israel, your Savior. I am the Lord. Do not fear. I am the Lord. Do not fear. I am the Lord!

Proverbs 3:5-6
Jeremiah 29:11

like a soccer game...

Howdy ya'll! I'm just sitting here by the window in Ashley and Jordan's room, thankful that the internet connection is pretty stable and that from where I sit, I can't see a single cloud in the sky. Hooray! And yes, my feet are hanging out the third story window, so I hope somebody down below gets a good laugh from that...

Today's a pretty crazy day here in Leipzig. As I'm sure some of you know, the World Cup games started last Friday, and today is the day for the first Leipzig game. The Netherlands versus Serbia-Montenegro. Yep, that's just right down the street a couple of tram stops away from me. So we were riding back into town this morning after being out at the Perrys' house for worship services, and things were starting to get a little crazy with all the fans. Wigs, hats, shirts, jerseys, horns, all sorts of stuff. Craziness...

Last week as our group was all talking, feeling somewhat frustrated with the slowness we can experience in European missions, Corey made the statement that it seems like missions in Europe is much like a soccer game. We Americans come from a society that's much more into football, basketball, baseball - the games that are filled with action and where there always seems to be something going on. And in some ways our view of missions is like that. We want more Bible studies, more activities, more baptisms. More bang for our buck. And then we come to Europe. And that doesn't happen. Oh my, how it doesn't happen. Missions here is completely different than in many parts of the world. It's like the soccer game. There's a whole lot of kicking the ball around, down the field and then back to the other end, while it gets blocked and stolen along the way. Nothing ever seems to happen... and then BAM! Goal!!!! And it may be that there are only a few goals ever scored in that game, but man, are they exciting and worth every minute of the work! We're here in Leipzig (and in Tomsk) doing what we can. We're helping out with passing the ball down the field, trying to work our way towards a goal. It takes a whole lot of work. Many meetings... time spent talking over coffee about random things, just getting to know someone... a 7 1/2 hour bike trip... inviting people to activities and being so frustrated when they continue to make up excuses... inviting people to activities and being surprised when they actually say yes... trying so hard to get someone to read from the Bible, which in some cases can take years... seeing many reject the Savior and the faith that are so dear to us... seeing the light in the eyes of the few who begin to understand. Those goals don't come often, but they sure are worth it. Worth every second, every cent, every bit of discomfort and embarrassment. It's wonderful to see! I wish you were here to meet the people I've met, to experience the things I've been priveleged to experience, to dream the dreams I'm dreaming for people like Carolin, Michael, Ina, Diana, Ines, Elfi, Dina, Konrad, Jenny, Carsten, and many, many others. I thank you for your prayers, and I especially thank our Lord for his grace and goodness! What a mighty God we serve!

who am i??

An interesting new toy... Check it out: http://kevan.org/johari?name=Laura+Beall Tell me what you think I'm like. It'll be fun to see what people say about me...

dreaming God-sized dreams

Hey, guys. I've got a link for you: http://www.time.com/katrina I just discovered this photo-journal today and thought some of you might like to see it, especially those of you who were down in New Orleans over spring break. It's heartbreaking for me to see this, to remember the week we spent down there, to think of the people we helped, and most especially to think of the people we weren't able to help because we didn't have enough time. I know that those of you who experienced the relief work know how I'm feeling. God is great, and He is caring for the people of the Gulf Coast, providing for them and drawing them closer to himself through tragedy and heartache. How, though, can God be using us? It was amazing to see the multitude of ways He was able to use us in one short week -- pulling up trees, clearing out sheds, tearing down drywall, talking to homeowners and church members, learning from Fred Franke and the other leaders of the relief efforts, encouraging other workers and being encouraged by seeing how God is working in their lives, building stronger relationships among those of us who went -- the list goes on and on.

My question for you is this: How can God use you to help in this situation? As a few of you know, Megan and KT and I have been doing some dreaming and some planning. (What's new there?) With a lot of prayer and thought, we've decided that God's leading us to do something more than just watch and pray about the situation. God has given us an opportunity to serve Him by serving others in a unique way, and we're taking this step in faith. The plan is to take the fall semester off from school in order to go back down to New Orleans and continue helping in the work there. There is so much to be done!! Our spring break group worked so hard for a week straight, and we accomplished some amazing things, but that was merely a drop in the bucket of there is that needs to be done.

So, back to the question. How can God use you? Will you pray for us? We will (and do) definitely need it. Will you encourage us? I know that we'll miss you guys a ton when we're gone, and it'd be such an encouragement to hear from you! Will you help support us financially? I know that's a hard one to ask college students (because I am one and I understand). Lodging and food will basically be provided for us while we're working there. But there will be other expenses, like gas to get down there and back when we need to. Can you support this mission financially, even if it's just a few dollars? (That might pay for a gallon of gas to help us on our way...) How can God use you? Will you join us? The people of New Orleans desperately need your help to rebuild. And I'm not just talking about houses here, either. It's amazing how God can use tragedy to draw people into a relationship with Him. New Orleans is seeing Jesus in an astounding way. The people are broken and in need of God, and they are coming to realize that. And they are seeing Him. They are seeing Him through the efforts of the churches and relief workers who are there, giving of themselves wholeheartedly. They are seeing Him in the joy and peace and faith that remains in the lives of the Christians, who are living there with them in the midst of destruction and turmoil. They are seeing Him as their lives are slowly rebuilt and hope is restored to them. How can God use you? Come with us! Whether it's for the whole semester (which we would love), or even just a week or two during the summer, come! I have not seen a field so ready for the harvest! It's just that the workers are few. Think about it. Dream big. We're only limited by what God can do, which is to say that we're not limited at all! Scholarships can often be deferred, degrees can be put off for another semester (or you can even think about doing an internship while we're there, like Megan might be doing, or taking some classes at one of New Orleans' many universities, like KT), jobs can wait for another few months. Don't rush through your life in such a hurry to get somewhere that you miss out on the journey. Put your "life" on hold for a while. Help others rebuild theirs. And in the meantime take ahold of the opportunity of a lifetime, one that will be gone before you know it. Take this opportunity to spread the blessing of Jesus to the world and at the same time receive a blessing you never would have thought possible. How can God use you? Just ask Him, and follow wherever He leads.

Laura

www.hilltoprescue.org
www.hilltoprescue.org/photos_damage
www.hilltoprescue.org/photos_fieldwork
www.hilltoprescue.org/photos_volunteers
www.carrolltonavenuechurch.org
www.operationnehemiah.us

awestruck

Our Lord is amazing! It is wonderful to see Him working in this world! Sunday morning at church it was a privilege to see two added to the Kingdom as new children of God. It was amazing to see months of prayers being answered when a dear friend asked for the support of the church as he desires to leave his struggles with sin behind and refocus his life on God. It was awesome over the past week to hear how God has been using one friend to reach out to another friend, speaking of the power of God to change her life and discussing the possibility of baptism into Christ, leading to the rebirth of another soul into the family of God just a few hours ago.

It is exciting and humbling to see how God has been so powerfully at work in the RFCs in just the past week since school started, bringing all these things to pass and much, much more! Prayer groups, Bible studies, an amazing group of freshmen and transfer students, a devo so full that we ran out of food and places to sit, new friends to reach out to, passion for and dedication to the Lord and His work on this campus, times of open and honest confession of weaknesses and needs, challenges to break away from the status quo and to live truly Christlike lives... I could go on and on.

I am thankful for the opportunities God has provided for change and growth, for renewal and revival, for service and love. I am thankful for the many prayers He has answered already, and I look forward to much more of the same as He continues to work in us and through us. I pray that He will continue to mold me into the person He desires me to be so that I can be a more effective tool for His use, and I pray that as He shapes me, He will also provide me with patience and a better understanding of His love and purpose so that I will be more open to His workings in me. I pray that He will provide knowledge and wisdom for sharing the gospel of Christ with the world, and, more specifically, with people such as Will, Carrie, Paul, John Marc, Jamie, Catherine, and many, many others. I pray that He will remain the wonderful, awe-inspiring God that only He can be!

reflections

Well, I just finished up writing my final essay for the totalitarianism class that I've been taking for the past three weeks here in Prague. So that means that I'm done. Done! That's always a nice feeling, to be completely done with a class and not to have to worry about it anymore. I have enjoyed the class. It's been good learning about life under totalitarian domination from someone who actually lived through it and actively participated in working against it. Defintely cool. But the class is over now, and that means that it's time for me to go home. And that is a strange thought... It's been nearly ten weeks since I left the United States. Ten weeks that have flown by so quickly. Seems like just a few days ago that I was sitting in the plane on the XNA runway getting ready to take off. A lot has happened in those ten weeks, a lot of good stuff. I've learned a lot about who God is and how He works in this world, how He works in and through me. I've definitely been challenged to live my faith and find ways to tell others about it, especially here in these past few weeks in the study abroad program. It's awesome to think about all that God has done around me. This summer here in Prague has been an experience I am so blessed to have been a part of! I hope that God has blessed you in some equally amazing ways this summer. Isn't it wonderful to be a part of His kingdom?!

a prayer for Olomouc

a journal entry from last night...

Olomouc. I sit here now on a bench in one of the two main squares. There's a fountain behind me, providing the soothing sound of flowing water to relax me. A gentle breeze drifts through the night, cooling the air. A half moon shines brightly above the multicolored buildings of a beautiful European town. Most prominent in the square is the immense column that towers above everything else, lit dimly so that one can see the irony of the beautifully decorated pillar that is a monument to death through a plague. It seems so odd to have such a beautiful reminder of death, especially in a city that now seems to be so full of life and vitality. As a Christian, though, I see how perhaps it is a fitting reminder. The people sitting at the outdoor cafe just to my left are obviously enjoying the night, enjoying life. But they, too, in all their liveliness, are a reminder. In appearance, they are full of beauty, joy, and contentment. As the ornately carved column to the right proclaims, however, it is possible to have the appearance of beauty and yet really be nothing but a representation of death. These things, these people, if viewed closely, are revealed to be shadows of evil. The column a shadow of the pain and suffering of the past, the people a shadow too. They are hollow, empty. They are only shadows of the men and women they were created to be. And as the clock strikes the hour, here among all these empty, shadowy people, I am reminded that they are running out of time. God is patient with them, not wanting any to perish, but a day will come when it is too late for the people of Olomouc, the Czech Republic, the world. Will they be ready when that day comes? Will they have given up their status as shadows and have taken on real, full, abundant life? Will they have allowed God to complete them, as only He is capable of? I pray that it may be so! For the people of Olomouc, like all the people of the world, are living hopeless lives if they are living without Christ. I pray that God will reach them, will change them. I know He has wonderful dreams, wonderful plans for them. And I know that the people of Olomouc, though they do not yet know it, are soon to encounter God's touch in a way they have never imagined. May the Lord bless the people of Olomouc and His children who are to enter their lives very soon. May He use Mitch Anderson, Joshua and Sarah Beall, Corey and Sarah Keen, Graham Kervin, Christie Shockley, and any others He may appoint to the task to show the people of Olomouc what His Love is and how it can change their lives. May He bless those workers with faith, hope, and love to carry out their task in full reliance on Him and with full confidence that He will accomplish His will here in Olomouc, whether or not they personally see the results. May He bless their families here and in the U.S. as they try to understand, accept, and participate in this calling. May He bless the Czechs who are to hear the Good News of Christ. May He bless those who accept that message and dedicate their lives to His service. May He bless the church that will grow here with faith, sweet fellowship, and a dedication to the Lord that will in turn lead more to Christ. May He bless His children throughout the world as we seek to know, to love, and to serve Him better, glorifying His Name at every moment, for He is our Lord, our God, and our Salvation! Amen

trilingualism, perhaps not at its best

I just had the coolest trilingual experience ever! The fact that it was trilingual is in itself enough to make it cool, but it was much better than that!
So, I was walking up the stairs at the study center, when I noticed out of the corner of my eye that the security guard who's always just sitting there doing his job, was reading something that looked an awful lot like the Bible, though I did only get a quick glance. So, when I decided to go back downstairs a minute later to heat up my lunch, I looked again. Sure enough! I was SO excited at the possibilty of his being a Christain! (It's amazing how important that fact becomes when you're surrounded with non-Christians instead of being situated right in the buckle of the Bible belt. It should be important all the time, but that's a whole 'nother post...) So, I built up the courage to attempt to talk to him, knowing that he probably didn't speak English, and on my way back up, I stopped and asked in faltering Czech, "You are a Christian?" He didn't understand at first, but then I said it again in Czech and in English, and he got the idea and told me the very exciting news: yes! About all I could say to that was, "Great! Me too!" That's about as far as my Czech can take me. But as the conversation started to break up, he communicated that he speaks some German, so that got us started again, at least trying to communicate. Through a process which included a Czech-English dictionary, a markerboard, some maps, a little yellow information card that the church has printed up and that I always keep a couple copies of for occasions such as this, and lots of smiling and laughing at our inability to communicate, I gathered that, yes, he is a Christian and that he's definitely interested in coming to worship services with the church here in Prague. He has to work tonight, so he won't be able to come then, but maybe Sunday! Sunday would be great! What an awesome thing that would be for my last Sunday here in Prague! (If you can't tell, I'm just a little excited.) I realized at the end of our "conversation" that I'd never introduced myself or gotten his name, so I made sure to do that. Pavel. Please, please, please, be praying for Pavel! All I know about him so far is that his name is Pavel, he is from Moravia, he works as a security guard, and he is a Christian. Not much knowledge to impart to those of you who'll be praying. But God knows him, and that's all that matters. Pray that I will be given more opportunities to talk with him, though it may be difficult communication. (I so wish I knew Czech! I will learn it!) Pray that he'll be able to come meet with the church and be encouraged by that and will become a part of the fellowship of God's people here in Prague. And pray that Satan will be stopped as he will be trying his hardest to hold Pavel back. Okay, gotta go to class! As Chelsea would say, yay God!

renovation and renewal

"In order for you to do something you've never done, you have
to be someone you've never been." - Les Brown

Interesting thought, isn't it? Makes me think... In order to do the things I desire to do but never can seem to accomplish, there has to be a revolution in who I am, not just in how I act. I can't be the same old person and at the same time act in a completely new way. It's a concept that's touched on multiple times in Scriptures, though perhaps in different contexts.

"Likewise every good tree bears good fruit, but a bad tree bears bad fruit. A good tree cannot bear bad fruit, and a bad tree cannot bear good fruit." -- Matthew 7:17-18
"Can both fresh water and salt water flow from the same spring? My brothers, can a fig tree bear olives, or a grapevine bear figs? Neither can a salt spring produce fresh water." -- James 3:11-12
"Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind." -- Romans 12:2
"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!" -- 2 Corinthians 5:17

In order for me to accomplish anything new and better, I must first be changed. As Jesus instructed the Pharisees in Matthew 23:26, "First clean the inside of the cup and dish, and then the outside also will be clean." The inside, the heart of a person must be cleansed before the outside actions will be pure. I must allow God to take the person I am and mold me into the person He desires that I be. That transformation is one in which I become a new creation, able to accomplish all things through Christ!

helpful hints from God

It's really cool how God has used a small thing as a reminder to me that all of us humans are His creations, loved and sought out by Him...
Here at my study abroad program, I can sometimes have a difficult time loving the people I'm surrounded by. They just don't seem to want to make themselves loveable!!! God, though, is very innovative in His ways of reminding me and helping me to love them. I can look at Brittany and be reminded of Ashley Johnson, I can see such a small thing like Victoria's curly hair and think of Bernadette, or I will notice how much Jake looks like Jared Lace and Adrian looks like John Schellhase. It's crazy! God has put me around people who remind me of friends back home in their looks, in their actions, and in their mannerisms. And that makes it easier to love them. I am reminded of how God loves all people by being reminded of how much I love my Christian (and non-Christian) friends at home. And seeing a tiny glimpse of the people I do love in the people that I'm trying to love, well, that's just one new way that God's helping me to be able to love.

ask and you will receive...

Tak...
It's really cool to see God answering prayers! Been praying for opportunities recently, as well as for the ability to see them and the courage to take advantage of them. So, this afternoon, as our class was walking to the metro, headed to the national museum with our professor, she and I got to talking somehow about our up-coming trip to Karlovy Vary and Plzen this weekend as a group. I told her I'd just recently been in Plzen, and when she asked what all I'd gotten to do there, I had a chance to tell her that we'd been there on our mini-survey trip, looking around to get info about the city because the group of us were thinking about moving there some day to do mission work. So then she began telling me about the Anglican church there that the Anglican church here in Prague apparently is pretty closely associated with. So I asked her more, and she told me all about how she was raised Catholic and about how she got involved with the Anglican church here. Then she asked me about the church that I work with here in Prague, Kristova Obec, which I'd mentioned in the short conversation we'd had. She was really interested in it and in what kinds of things we believe in. Definitely an opportunity, sent directly from God! As we got on the metro, we continued talking about belief in God and how it's soooo lacking from modern Czech society, about the kind of work that I would like to do someday if it is God's will for me to move over here, and about all sorts of cool stuff! I remembered that I had one of the church's little yellow information cards in my backpack, so I gave that to her, and she said she'd be interested in coming sometime. Awesome! Do me a favor and be praying for her - Alena Hromadkova - and for me too, as I try to find more ways of talking to her and reaching out to her. God's so cool!

opportunities galore

Well, I'm still here in Prague. Still loving the city. Still loving getting to spend time with the church. Still loving the culture. Things are a bit different though. For the past seven weeks, I've been working with the church, teaching English Bible classes, forming relationships with my students in order to show Christ to them, fellowshipping with the church and trying to encourage them, while probably receiving much more encouragement than I was giving. It was great! Now, though, I'm participating in a study abroad program with 20 or so other American students. And it's been a challenging experience so far. They're definitely typical American college students -- focused on themselves, what they can get out of life for themselves, wasting their time in meaningless gossip and backstabbing conversation, and spending countless hours at the numerous pubs and discos here in town, downing drink after drink after drink after drink after, well, you get the idea. Needless to say, I'm a little different. As far as I've been able to tell so far, I'm the only Christian in the group, which is a new experience for me. I'm used to being mainly with Christian friends, and even when I'm not with a Christian group, like when I'm hanging out with the drumline, there are at least some Christians among the group.

I know that in the past couple of days, I've learned a lot about what it means to be salt and light in the world. I'm trying to make a difference by being different. But at the same time it's been a challenge for me to find new, innovative ways of sharing my faith with these people who really don't care to hear about it. I've been doing quite a bit of praying and reading from encouraging books like Philippians. And one thing I've been praying for is the ability to love these people. It can be difficult when they don't exactly make themselves lovable. But as Christians, we're called to love because Christ loved us. No other reason. Not because we like someone or because we have something in common with them or because they are willing to be loved. We love because Christ loves. That simple. And 1 Corinthians 13 has got quite a bit in it that's difficult to do: have patience, not be proud or arrogant but be humble instead, etc. Even more difficult than those, I find that it's the always trusting, always hoping, always persevering part that's really tough to do. Always trusting in God that He's got a plan for these people who are His creation just as much as I am. Always trusting that He knew what He was doing when He put me here in their midst. Always hoping that one of them may see the light and love and truth of God in me in some way and may be convicted to change and to draw closer to God. Always persevering, through the difficulties, through the frustrations, through the doubt and fear. Never giving up. Never letting Satan get ahold of me and tell me that I just can't do it, that it's not making any difference, that I should just give in and join them. But though those things are difficult and I am way too weak to do them on my own, I've found that God is strengthening me. He's giving me the courage and the love I need. He, once again as always, is proving Himself faithful to me and to His promises!

I've been praying a lot for opportunities. For the ability to recognize those opportunities when they're presented. And for the courage to take ahold of them when I recognize them. And in that area, too, God is faithful. Perhaps these are new opportunities, perhaps they're ones that have always been there that I just haven't recognized because my eyes haven't been correctly focused. But whatever the case may be, they're there.

One very exciting thing happened last night. I was wandering around town with three of the girls, Kat, Jane, and Allison. They'd bought a bottle of wine and we'd sat down at the bottom of Wenceslas Square so they could drink it in celebration of the 4th of July. After they finished it up, we were headed to join up with a larger group at U Sudu, a pub not too far from Tesco. But instead, the girls decided, just for something different, to go to Tesco and buy some wine there. They ended up getting the cheapest stuff possible, which they said was really nasty and did I want to try some? I stuck to my fruit tea. Anyway, as we just sat on some benches and they drank the two-liter bottle of cheap white wine, Jane asked Kat how much she'd have to pay her to get her to go hug a homeless man who was standing with his bottle of alcohol not too far away from us. About a million dollars was the answer. But Allison mentioned that she is actually planning on opening a homeless shelter when she graduates. So, I started talking to her, asking her plans and how she got involved in working with the homeless people. And that led to an opportunity to tell her about my spring break work with the RFCs in inner-city Chicago and Atlanta. I told her how I loved getting to do work that makes a difference in people's lives, that gives them hope, shows them the love of God. As our conversation continued, I was able to talk about the work I've been blessed to participate in here in Prague and how it is so fulfilling to share the love and peace and joy that I have found through Christ. Then she told me about how, as her parents raised her, they gave her the freedom to explore religion and to make her own decisions about God. We talked for a while (as we walked to U Sudu after all...) about her spiritual beliefs and about the nature of truth and of God. Allison told me that she's trying to figure out what she believes about God, trying to find her own spirituality. We shortly arrived at the pub, so the conversation was cut off, but for what it was, it was good. Definitely an opportunity from God to see into Allison's life, into her soul, and to see that, underneath all of her outer layer of flirtation and continuous drinking, there is really a person there who is lost and is in need of God's guidance and salvation. Please pray with me and for me as I am given more opportunities to reach out to Allison with the love of God!